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Bully for this bully comedy?

Nope. But at least young victims of school bullies now have a movie to point to that’s purportedly telling their sad/funny story.

Three freshmen – Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley), and Emmit (David Dorfman) – are hassled on their first day of high school by Filkins, the psychopathic school bully (Alex Frost) whose mission in life is to sniff out dorks and do them harm.

By the second day, however… things get even worse. And will obviously continue to as the curriculum now features daily beatings and humiliations. So, in need of protection, they place an ad for a personal bodyguard in Soldier of Fortune magazine.

Come for the games, but stick to the safe bets on the menu (like burgers and fries).

What happens when an insipid waitstaff gets in the way of margaritas and delicious tres leches cake? You get one angry Undercover Eater.

Jalisco-style taqueria that’s not for the shy.

A taste (or is it a shot?) of New Orleans’ Bourbon Street.

Aside from offering pizzas with wacky names, Rockin’ Tomato’s menu also includes burgers, hoagies, pasta, calzones, and a fairly good salad bar. Stop by the South Lamar location on Wednesday nights if you’re in the mood for karaoke.

A few days ago, following a rousing game of badminton, Vivica claimed she was famished and, alas, wanted to dine on “common food.” After an hour-long discourse about the merits of Sauvignon Blanc paired with a dynamite Neufchâtel, I decided I would allow her to have her way. So we climbed into our elegant Audi A8 and drove to the feces-ridden bowels of Austin to dine with the less ambitious.

We ruled out those establishments whose doors were decorated with slumbering, uncouth vagabonds, and then we made our way to what I assumed was a quaint bistro specializing in truffles: the Mellow Mushroom.

After paying $5 to park at the neighboring lot – without valet service, I unfortunately must add! – Vivica and I were taken aback by the combination of boisterous college students, a ghostly looking waitstaff, and an all-too-lifelike statue of Willie Nelson kayaking down a waterfall (hopefully toward a barber shop).

Cheap drinks bring in cheap customers.

Drink and dance, preferably in that order, at this three-level, “upscale,” 18-and-up club.