Overheard in Austin

Office Elevator

Well-dressed man on cell phone “That message made me so happy. It’s the best I’ve ever gotten. I’m saving it forever. Yeah, the message that they’re not coming with us on vacation.”

Spider House

Woman “I have to smoke a joint when I wake up. Otherwise I have headaches.”

Her friend “Yeah, I definitely prefer drinking.”

Rudy’s

Woman “I just don’t understand why they’d advertise being ‘the worst bar-b-q in Texas.’ Why are people eating here?”

photo / cogdogblog  

Luby’s

Girl on cell phone “I always think it’s a good idea to date two guys at once with the same name so there are no possible accidents in bed.”

HEB Far West

Girl to her friend “At least I’m still attracted to him after seeing him in Spandex.”

Genuine Joe

Guy “Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash? That doesn’t make any sense!”

Two girls in crosswalk

Girl #1 “You have really nice boobs.”

Girl #2 “Thanks! I think you have really nice boobs, too.”

Girl #1 “This would be a weird conversation for someone to overhear.”

WALL-E Sunday matinee | Couple walking out of theater

Guy “I don’t know… it was kind of a sad movie.”

Girl “Yeah, and there was like no talking. What the hell?”

Leaf

Girl to her friend “Jamie Lynn Spears had her baby!”

Her friend “It seems like just yesterday she got knocked up.”

Girl “It does!”

Hamilton Pool

Frat guy carrying a cardboard box full of meat “Uh… where are all the picnic tables?”

Frat guy carrying a cooler of booze “I guess we could just use, like, a rock or something. This sucks!”

photo / Kristin Hillery Hamilton Pool 

6th and Congress

Woman to her huge biker dude friend “I can’t believe you don’t sail anymore!”

Ladies’ room at Qua

Woman washing her hands, to her friend “Well, I guess I’d better be nice to him. He is getting me two baby tigers for my birthday.”

Overheard by Samantha Jean

photo / Kristin Hillery The dance floor at Qua 

Target

Preteen girl pointing to clothes rack “Hannah Montaaaaana!”

Her mom “No. No. Absolutely not. Keep walking. I do not like her anymore. Do not even look at her.”

Church’s Chicken

Little girl, as her younger sister cries “I need a new dad!”

Dad (sneering) “Really? I’ll take you somewhere to get one.”

Easter Sunday at Wal-Mart

Woman in line, to her daughter “What is that?”

Daughter “It’s a cake. You told me to pick out a cake.”

Woman in line “A COOKIE CAKE IS NOT A CAKE.”

Whiskey Bar

Girl bartender handing a drink to a guy “I hope you’re ready to vomit tonight!”

Amy’s Ice Cream

Girl pointing to the tiny-sized cup “Tiny? That sounds like my boyfriend’s dick.”

Overheard in my office

Co-worker “If Obama could get Vince Young to endorse him, he’d carry the whole state of Texas.”

Toy Joy

Guy to his friend “You know that crazy cat lady who lives downstairs? She’s getting married!”

H-E-B (Burnet and Koenig)

Guy to his friend, looking at the Valentine’s Day stuff “Should I get her a balloon or just the flowers?”

His friend “All of this is bullshit. Get her something useful, like a bag of tampons.”