Scenester Truffaut Polaroid

a’right a’right a’right — t_imef_or

HPSTR 4CST

photo / Pierre LaScott
illustration / Adam Avramescu “Anybody remember Kriss Kross?” 

• Hipsters citywide maintain a week of silence after this weekend’s visit from St. Radiohead.
• Some douchebag calls Radiohead passé. Everyone pretends to agree.
• Temperatures in the nineties all week. Time to boob out of those V-necks.
• “Jesus” becomes an adjective, as in, “That new Caribou album is so Jesus.” Or “Emo’s has gotten pretty Jesus since they changed the booking dudes.”
• 100% chance of waiting too long for your coffee at Spider House.
• Obscure reference of week plus usage. Kurosawa. Japanese director. “George Lucas’ film Star Wars was a total rip off of a Kurosawa film.”
• Upcoming trends on the East Side: White guilt.
• Jeans tightness index: 21 microns per 500 songs in iTunes collection.

As_alw_ay_s, a hipster is a friend indied.

xhappyx xhxcx xmxoxnxdxaxyx xfromx

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photo / Pierre LaScott
illustration / Adam Avramescu “Hold on. I just realized I have daddy issues.” 

• Five months removed from his Pitchfork #1 win, Panda Bear fades from everyone’s collective memory.
• Purebreed dogs are out; regular mutts are out; mutts that are half-ketamine are in.
• Local DJs make a rush on Cheapo Discs to snap up every Haddaway record available.
• 90% chance that’s not her natural hair color.
• Conrad Keely slips on a spilled Cape Cod at Beauty Bar. This becomes the new dance move.
• Ladies and gentlemen, set your iPods to random.
• Someone at the Peacock will argue, “The only films that are really obscure are the ones that don’t exist.”
• Jeans tightness index: 21 microns per 1% body fat.

Remembz, yallz, a hipster is a friend indied.

roxannejomitchell Car Stereo (Wars) 

Is he…

• Drinking a glass of milk?
• Getting his oil changed?
• Watching Deal or No Deal?
• Thinking of me? OMG no waaaayyy!

What do you think he’s doing?

Jusss’anotha week and it’s time for yr dose of tr00f. Lis’n up & haig’n out: Isssss this_weex’

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photo / Pierre LaScott
illustration / Adam Avramescu “My favorite TV show is cocaine.” 

• A light breeze will flow through the Mohawk. Five Bradford Cox lookalikes blow away.
• MySpace: In, but only if you’re using it ironically.
• 100% chance of waiting too long for your coffee at Spider House.
• Someone pronounces “Epoch” wrong. Three people who have never been there judge.
• Mario is a sellout, but Luigi is totes indie.
• Totes are totes amazers.
• 30% chance of flaking the fuck out.
• Jeans tightness index: 37 microns per 1% body fat.

And donchuevah forget, a hipster is a friend indied.

photo / cloverity The Mohawk 

y0 mang— issstime for anotha wrap of the day’s shiz at our totes fave music venue -slash- bar -slash- chilla villa… the Mohawk:

• Some poseur in neon sunglasses got jumped for liking Vampire Weekend too much. Or not enough.
• Seven people started their DJ careers just by hitting play on their iPods.
• Everyone agreed when someone said they liked blue-eyed soul.
• Kevin Adickes dropped a PBR. Rawk.
• Someone mentioned the Longbranch Inn.
• Yeah, but have you heard their older stuff?

REMINDER: Starting tonight, the Mohawk’s doors will open at 4pm to ensure everyone will arrive by midnight.