Dear drunk assholes with the maturity of a 12-year-old:
Thank you so much for vandalizing the clubhouse and pool area of my apartment complex. I’m surprised you didn’t die when you pulled the lights out of the swimming pool. Didn’t you pay attention in sixth grade science? Electricity plus water equal electrocution. Oh, it was also great of you to drag that parking space bumper out of its spot and put it in the middle of the parking lot around the corner where no one turning the corner could see it. You’re lucky management found and moved it before someone ruined their car and sued your sorry little asses. And dumping garbage all over the clubhouse – genius! I can’t believe you came up with that yourselves. Your little prank did $2,000 worth of damage and resulted in no one being able to use the clubhouse, pool, or exercise room after office hours. So thanks! I hope you had a good time on your drunken spree, because you ruined the apartment amenities for the rest of us.