How is Crawford preparing for Jenna Bush’s wedding?

9 May 2008 | That Other Paper

Tomorrow, President George Bush’s daughter, Jenna Bush, is getting married in Crawford, Texas, at the Bush family ranch. With a population of barely more than 700 people, Crawford has been making preparations to deal with the huge event — and the many people expected to travel to the town even though they weren’t invited. But how, exactly, is Crawford preparing for Jenna’s wedding? Well, they’ve been…

crawford.jpg
photo / bfelice Creative Commons licensed: Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 
  • Memorizing the lyrics to “I am the cute one.”
  • Learning how to make Jenna’s favorite drink: Chuy’s strawberry margarita
  • Trying to find a way to uninvite Cindy Sheehan without it getting all, you know, awkward
  • Clearing brush
  • Asking Guantanamo Bay detainees how to endure 20 hours of loud music followed by stress positions and genital electrocution
  • Working out the kinks in their “Someone’s going to get some Bush tonight!” joke
  • Breaking ground on the town’s third building: a third souvenir shop
  • Practicing acting surprised when Barbara and Jenna pull a “switching places” prank for the, like, hundredth time
  • WEDDING ACCOMPLISHED

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